Happy New Year!

May your hair, your teeth, your face-lift, your abs and your stocks not fall; and may your blood pressure, your triglycerides, your cholesterol, your white blood count and your mortgage interest not rise.

May you get a clean bill of health from your dentist, your cardiologist, your gastro-enterologist, your urologist, your proctologist, your podiatrist, your psychiatrist and your plumber.

May what you see in the mirror delight you, and what others see in you delight them. May someone love you enough to forgive your faults, be blind to your blemishes, and tell the world about your virtues.

May New Year's Eve find you seated around the table, together with your beloved family and cherished friends. May you find the food better, the environment quieter, the cost much cheaper, and the pleasure much more fulfilling than anything else you might ordinarily do that night.

May the telemarketers wait to make their sales calls until you finish dinner, may the commercials on TV not be louder than the program you have been watching, and may your check book and your budget balance - and include generous amounts for charity.

May you remember to say "I love you" at least once a day to your spouse, your child, your parent, your siblings; but not to your secretary, your nurse, your masseuse, your hairdresser or your tennis instructor.

Great Christmas memory

I think I was nine and it was close to Christmas. Mom and Dad had a very unique way of keeping the suspense for the big day. In the days before Christmas there would never be anything under the tree. Probably my parents didn't trust us not to peek at the corners of the packages, but anyway no presents until the big morning. I had already figured out there was no big fat man bringing things down the chimney; he always used the door. Well my bedroom that I shared with my two brothers and my sister had a vent that piped warmth from the fireplace in the front room. If held your head just right you could see right through to the living room and the festive green tree with my siblings home made decorations. I had faked my slumber and about mid night or so I watching through the grate and here came Dad pushing a brand new, bright red, fully loaded, and large tired HUFFY bicycle. It was my greatest hope and dream. I could not restrain myself. I ran out of the bedroom with screams of joy. But to my surprise at the door was MOM with a look that could kill. "BACK TO BED, LARRY". But by then I had wakened my siblings and it was like a jail break.
Well I got my bike. I rode it everywhere. I rode it until the tires had to be replaced. I rode it until the seat became threadbare. It was the best.

I am a project Manager!

A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts: "Excuse me, can you help me?" "I promised my friend that I would meet him in a hour, but I don't know where I am, can you help me?."

The man below says, "Yes, you are in a hot air balloon, hovering approximately 30 feet above this field. You are between 40 and 42 degrees North Latitude, and between 58 and 60 degrees west longitude."

The balloonist replies, "you must be a programmer".

"Well, yes I am, how did you know"?

"Well everything you just said was technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I am still lost."

The man on the ground cracks a smile and exclaims, "You must be a project manager."

In response the balloonist, in amazement exclaims, " You are a smart man, how did you know"?

"Well here is how it is: you don't know where you are or where you are going, You have made a promise which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. The fact is you are in the same position you are now as you were when we met, but it is now somehow my fault."

A mother

First, I am a Grandfather of a little boy that is the most wonderful and charming little man I have ever encountered except maybe his father, my son. But I look at his mother and wonder how she does what she does. For a mother the project of raising a boy is the most fulfilling project she can hope for. She can watch him play the games she can’t physically play; she invests in him her ideas, aspirations, ambitions, and values. She can watch her son, who came from her flesh and whose life is sustained by her work and devotion. She hopes the best, expects the best, and prays for the best to come of her little one. So while the project of raising a boy is fraught with pain and leads inevitably to frustration it is the only project that allows a woman to be, through her son a little boy herself. Thank you Malana, for being the best little Joe could ever want. I love you.
POP POP

Happy Birthday Larry

He’s a chip off of the old block
He is more than bragging talk
At least some would say
He is a man’s man any day
He is bright and sharp and bold
But is never very far from the fold.
Some say he is a carbon copy of his father
If you don’t like his Pa, you shouldn’t bother
It is hard to resist him
And he knows his wit and wisdom
He really doesn’t have to be persistent
Because his charm is always consistent
Today is his birthday with celebration
And I rejoice with his enthusiastic elation
He walks the walk and talks the talk
Because he is a chip off of the old block.
Whether that block was his father or mother
It doesn’t have to be one or the other.

Happy Birthday my son.

Kelli with an I

When little Chucky was small and he would come to his father when things were not the best and ask, "Daddy, can you fix this"? Since then Chucky became Charles and then just plain Chuck. He still on occasion comes to POP and asks for help, but not so much because he has a very special help mate at his side. Kelli, you have become a blessing to my youngest. You have brought a special joy right from the start. I can see the love growing in your heart for my little Chucky. Our family is now your family. United in one purpose we adore you. Our hearts you have won. All because of the love you brought to our son!

Happy Birthday Kelli

Babies to people

We childproofed our home number years ago and they're still getting in! That’s a joke.

My little granddaughter loves to manipulate all around her into a great circle, holding hands and saying in cadence, “Family, Family, Family”.

Sunday, my son and daughter-in-law brought by the most wonderful chicken soup for lunch. Kelli had learned to make homemade noodles and had added a pressure cooked chicken. It was a gastronomical delight. I would have eaten more than I should but at the door came my Princess daughter and in tow my favorite granddaughter. We ate soup, drank a little wine and enjoyed the wonders of my family. I try to see the subtle changes that make that little blond extrovert into who she is becoming.

The front door opened and there was my favorite grandson with mom following intently. Little Joe had come over for his monster truck that “Pop Pop” had fixed. MM and Joe had brought their own lunch and we were just one big family in the manse. Joe went outside to play in the little wading pool and I went out and watched the little sweet one pour water over everything.

I tried to remember my little Larry when he was young. I really didn’t take enough time to just sit and watch him when he was little. I do remember musing over what he would become just as I also thought deeply about my little Joe. Just as all were getting ready to leave here came JR.

Family, Family, Family.

I believe that when we were born, certain personality traits were already imbedded in our being. There is no changing the nature of what we really are at our core. Nature vs. nurture has proven that nurture plays a part in a child’s development; the encouraging, caring, guiding, equipping, and cultivating which a parent, grand parent, family and environment provides. But there is also a nature part of a child’s development; it’s his or her individual nature and personality. We can nurture our children and train and equip them all day long, but there is a natural characteristic to them that we must accept; their personality with their strengths and their weaknesses which we should value and appreciate.

It was a great feeling of when my children are born and again when there are grand children to nurture. Bonnie and I probably try and imagine what these little bundles of joy will grow up to be like. It would be great if they grew up with the bright outgoing personalities mirroring the mothers and the great organizational skills of the fathers or some other admirable characteristic. I can imagine each will be a little version of the parent’s personalities combined. Then, all of the sudden to our surprise they become their own little personality. We discover we can’t raise them the same way. Not only is getting used to a brand new personality and temperament a challenge, but when you have multiple children and now grandchildren, the complexity grows even larger!

Meaning of Perfect

I was sitting in my office this afternoon cleaning out a number of files off of my temporary thumb drive because it was full and I wanted to save some more important files. I can across a picture I had taken a month or so ago. It was of two of the most perfect persons in the whole world. Now don’t get me wrong here, I am not prejudiced just because these two little souls are my grandkids. I caught myself getting a little misty and my analytical side broke in. What is perfection?
One of the oldest definitions is the one from Aristotle:
Perfect is that
1. which is complete — which contains all the requisite parts;
2. which is so good that nothing of the kind could be better;
3. which has attained its purpose.

The first of these definitions is a part of the second, but between the second and third there is a giant difference. Something or someone is perfect that could not be better and something that has attained the designed purpose.

I struggle with comparisons. And following Aristotle’s line of logic there is no comparison in perfection. It is not that one is better than the other. A grandson who would rather ride a little car is no less perfect than a granddaughter who prefers a tricycle. Blond long hair is no less perfect than short blond hair. A "I love you pop pop" filled with bravado is no less perfect than a little smile and two pointing fingers directed to the depths of my soul. Both of my grandkids are complete, nothing could be better and reaching their purpose.
What is perfect? Perfection is that which brings a teardrop to the eye.

Theory

In theory, the difference between practice and theory is due to practical considerations that theorists find it impractical to fit into their theories. If something dosen't follow exactly that they predicted they say they are anomolies.
In practice, theory uses the practice of theorising about practical matters, while not noticing that the theoretical method practically distorts the theory beyond application to practice.
Theoretically then the practical facts are that the theory is in practice good for predicting what happens in theory, but impractical as a theory with direct implications for practice, except where theory states that the practice is sufficiently close to the theory to make any difference for all practical purposes theoretically zero.
In practice this does not happen very often.

To sum it up Theory is not practical and practices are not theoretical.

Wheels and meaningfulness

In a meeting today an associated engineer, trying not to do a complete rework of a major portion of a configuration stated, “Let’s not reinvent the wheel.” Reinventing the wheel is a phrase that means to duplicate a basic method that has already previously been created or optimized by others. In theory that could well be a great argument. But at issue is there is a difference between theory and practice and in practice theory is not always practical.
Reinvent the wheel. OK, isn’t the wheel the most reinvented thing in the world? I mean we are not driving our cars on large roughly hewn rock rounds. With the exception of Fred Flintstone, our wheels are almost perfectly round and are made of the latest materials. There are thousands if not millions of variations to the wheel theme. Maybe that is the meaningfulness of this whole thought. To me, it seems there are two primary reasons for reinventing the wheel: 1) to adapt it to a thing to a new context and 2) to learn how it works. Often when in a new situation or new context it is probably better to take it apart and reinvent the silly thing.

Lunch with the Chuckster

My Son Chuck is on jury duty downtown and we have taken the philosophy of "when you are served lemons, make lemonade". So we had a chance of having lunch together. I forced him to walk 6 blocks to the River City Brewery. For Chuck it was a special for the day Patty Melt, me fish and chips. He had to have the onion rings instead of fry. As we were eating a big smile comes across his very expressive face and with a voice filled with a slight grease stain came the words, "This is the best Patty Melt I have ever had". Now that is saying something, in his previous jobs he traveled a great deal and had the opportunity to taste a vast plethora of slightly greasy, well toasted, hamburger slathered with cheese, sandwiches.
It is good times with the tonsorial prince of Patty melts.
Meaningful, not much but, good anyway.

As the planes flew by

Meaningfulness comes from different directions. Took my two best grandkids for an outing Saturday in the early afternoon. We strapped them in their kid's seats and off we went in the direction of the Mather air show. Between my wife and I we did not have enough cash between us to get into the air show proper but we also knew that the two little ones in the back would probably not last that long anyway. So we drove to a park within the flight zone of the planes and let the cherubs play on the apparatus for a while. From every direction came the jets. Each pulling G turns over our heads. The kids were more and more excited with each pass as the noise was pounding in a great crescendo.
In a flash from the past I remembered when we were living in Reno we used to get frozen yogurt and park at the end of the airport and watched the airplanes take off and land. It was a cheap date but it was wonderful in its simplicity. So was this day: cheap but very enjoyable.
That which we enjoy must not be dictated by the amount of money we spend.
Meaningfulness is more important.

Labor day

According to the U.S. Dept. of Labor website, “Labor Day, the first Monday in September, is a creation of the labor movement and is dedicated to the social and economic achievements of American workers. It constitutes a yearly national tribute to the contributions workers have made to the strength, prosperity, and well-being of our country.” I would think the holiday is in a real need for a "Quest of Meaningfulness". To the millions that are struggling to make a living, to the numbers reaching 10% of our population that are out of work, Labor day is either another day to press toward the mark of employment or to make meaningful the work that is being done. Labor day is supposed to make the nation grateful for the work that is being done and the day to day achievements of improvement of our country.
Labor day makes me think about how my father labored to provide his family a good home, even though it often meant he was not around to enjoy it with his family. A simple strong willed man with small expectations. It makes me think of the jobs I have had: worker at a slaughter house, retail meat cutter, cleanup/janitor at a supermarket, Pastor, bus driver, computer trainer, IT worker, IT manager, project manager, but I would suppose the most important was the job of father to three perfect children.
The only problem is the current environment of prosperity or the lack of it, does little to improve the plight of the worker.
Meaningfulness - Labor day, they really don't have much in common.

Well it has been two weeks doing the job as a Project Manager. I often feel as though I have been captured and assimilated into a BORG collective. Resistance is futile. Trying to close up a small project in the next two weeks so I start an even bigger one. The new one has muli-million dollar budget. Remember friends, "a million here and a million there and it soon adds up to real money". I have to architect, plan, implement, close a project that must have capability, compatibility, concurrency, conformabiliy, efficiency, installability, maintainability, performability, recoverability, reliability, scalability, securability, supportability, and usability. And by the way it must come in under budget and on time.
That is allot even if you are building a peanut butter sandwich. Wish me luck.
By the way is this what I was looking for in my quest for meaningfulness?

Photo of water and angel

It is amazing the way water plays in the sunlight as a cherub vies for a refreshing sip.

Insights from the mountains

I drove up and beyond Quincy for a couple of days of introspection and fishing. The area is simply awe inspiring. Clear water, fresh air, inspiring vistas of tree covered crags, and the stars at night so close that you could almost reach up and touch them.
I took a break at mid afternoon and found a boat up food stop. Big hamburger, fries and a Pepsi all the while sitting in the warm sun overlooking the lake. A gentleman came out to the alfresco deck with his motorcycle helmet and we struck up an conversation. He told me of is work with the Bank of America and that he had a territory of most of Northern California and he often went from bank to bank on his bike. He has seen alot of road under his wheels. He asked me what I did, and I told him about my new job working with the prison system.
Then I was put aback by a statement he made. "Your work could well save lives."
Meaningful employment. One piece to the puzzle of life.

The Quest Goes On

As in any blog there is a therapeutic catharsis in the process of putting your thoughts into words. Sitting at a keyboard and placing phrases in appropriate structure takes time and allows for introspection. But in the long run there is a haunting, almost minuscule little voice that cries from deep down inside that is constantly asking, "Does anyone actually read this stuff?".
But I digress. Well after being in an holding pattern for seemingly forever, I received an offer of employment. I know to all you rabid readers of "Quest of Meaningfulness", this sounds like good news. But I have trepidations and doubt. Any time you have to step out of your little bird nest, all comfortable with the trappings of life, there is self doubt. Doubt of the ability to do the job. Doubt of the in-kids will accept the new kid with his shinny new lunch box and his inability to find the bathroom.
The position is project management of a small project downtown Sacramento for the State of California. It seems there was a federal court case that mandated better health care for the prisoners within the state corrections facilities. It seems the state prison health care system was not as good as some would like. One small part of the mitigation and improvement is the creation of a state wide database to collect and store all prison health care records. My small project is to provide project management for the establishment of a business continuity system. This system would provide for both the long term viability of the data but also provide high availability to the data from all the required sites.
Well you can get happy for me now. It is almost overwhelming go and start anew. But it is a part of that one thing, the quest for meaningfulness.

One thing!

In the movie City Slickers, Jack Palance had a line, "all you need to do in life is find that one thing and everything else don't mean shit." I would suppose that a quest for meaningfulness is a quest for that "One Thing." At issue is there are so many competing "one things", family, job (still looking). fishing, stock market, housing, cooking, ...... . So what is my "one thing"? Still have not figured that one out yet. Stay tuned ladies and gentlemen for the next episode of "One Life to Live".

What I did with my fish from Santa Cruz

Dad's Fish Stew Recipe

Preparation time: 25 minutes.
Ingredients

* 6 Tbsp olive oil
* 1 cup of chopped onions
* 3 large garlic cloves, chopped
* 2/3 cup fresh parsley, chopped
* 2 cups of fresh chopped tomato (about 2 medium sized tomato)
* 5 tsp of tomato paste.
* 8 oz of clam juice
* 1 cup dry white wine
* 1 1/2 lb fish fillets cut into 2-inch pieces
* Touch of dry oregano, thyme, pepper
* Salt

1 Heat olive oil in heavy large pot or Dutch oven over medium-high heat. Add chopped onion and garlic and fry 4 minutes. Add parsley and stir 2 minutes. Add tomato, tomato paste and cook 2 minutes longer.

2 Add clam juice, dry white wine, and fish and simmer until fish is cooked through, less than 10 minutes. Stir roughly just before serving to break the fish up a little more. Add seasoning. Salt to taste. Ladle into bowls and serve.

Bonnie thought it was great.

Star Trek

Just got back and it was a good time with the boys. This picture is from the command chair of the USS Enterprise. We are all leaning over to signify the turbulence of deep space caused by a photon torpedo from the Romulens. A good time was had by all and ending with a lunch. Thanks boys for the time, it will be remembered.

Getting out of the house

The boys and I are going to the Star Trek Exhibition tomorrow. It will be a good time and I will report more when I get back.

Celebration of Independence Day

It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat."

Theodore Roosevelt

Another Monday!

The first day of the week is always the hardest to get motivated. Headhunters call, I submit resume's and then there is a deafening silence. Home alone and wondering what is the next step in my lifelong quest for meaningfulness.
The greatest challenge we face in our lives is the Search for Meaning. What is life really about? What are we really here to do?
Dr. Viktor Frankl, founded an entire school of psychotherapy, Logotherapy, based on the psychological requirement for meaning. Its fundamental principle is that the many and profound psychological problems people face in our modern world - including severe neuroses - arise from a lack of true life meaning. The pursuit of pleasure and the avoidance of pain are NOT the only motivators of human activity. Rather, the Search for Meaning is vitally important to healthy human life.

The majority of people don't know why they are alive, nor do they trouble to give it much thought. Yet, a life without meaning is unbearable in the final analysis. This is why so many people die within a few short years of retirement. It's why the unemployed feel dreadfully depressed and worthless. It's also why some fabulously wealthy and famous individuals are desperately unhappy.

Searching for meaningfulness is vital precisely because without it, you fall prey to the lure of "counterfeit" meanings. If you make no effort to discover the meaning of your individual life, you end up with a vacuum at the very core of your being. You exist, but you really don't know why. A vacuum is always filled. This is where the problem of counterfeit meaning comes in. In the absence of the true meaning and purpose of our lives, the vacuum will be filled with something else. By doing so, you quiet that tiny voice that entreats you to search your soul. Instead, you busy yourself with this counterfeit meaning and expand it until it fills your life. In this way, you need not be troubled anymore or concern yourself with why you exist in the first place. You feel more comfortable; at least for a while.

Do I have meaning if I am a great father? Do I have meaning if I haven't killed anyone? Do I have meaning because I drive a Jeep? Do I have meaning if I like to get out and commune with the great outdoors? The question that needs to be asked is not the one where my meaning comes from the things I do or even the garbage I have. The question has to be bigger and it has to come from inside.

Everyone wants to be someone else, except....

Politicians think they are Economists.
Economists think they are Social Scientists.
Social Scientists think they are Psychologists.
Psychologists think they are Biologists.
Biologists think they are Organic Chemists.
Organic Chemists think they are Physical Chemists.
Physical Chemists think they are Physicists.
Physicists think they are Mathematicians.
Mathematicians think they are God.
God...ummm...so happens that God is an Astronomer.

Another long day on my quest.

Up at 3:30 AM and on the road by 4. 167 miles before breakfast just for one more interview. Redding may be classified either as a mini city or a very expansive town. A river through the middle and snow capped mountains on three sides. Well after a quick orange juice from MickyDees I faced the group of four that holds my fate in their hands. No questions on my knowledge or my experience but on what I would do as a manager. Subjective questions are almost impossible to judge as to what should be said. I responded as I wished my past managers had, with respect and hopes for the best. The drive back I had the top down on the Toyota and I enjoyed the trip with the sun on my face.
I don't really know how I did, but I did my best. In that I have to find intrinsic meaningfullness.

Memorial Day and Joseph Monson

Memorial day is a moment in our over filled lives where we stop and remember our loved ones who served protecting our nation. They call them the greatest generation those who served during the second world war. My Father Joseph Monson served in the United States Navy stationed within a group of special volunteers stationed on civilian merchant vessels crossing the Atlantic with vital war supplies for England and Egypt. They were called the armed guard. A crew of 14 regular Navy sailors charged with protecting the civilian ship. He made 6 round trips on three ships the SS Jean, Moses Cleveland, and the Calvin Coolidge. The picture is of the SS Jean built in 1907 and was Joe's first ship on which he sailed three round trips. He performed his duties as a signal man for communications between the ships of the convoy including escorts and other merchantmen. He was a part of the biggest sea battle in the battle of the Atlantic where over 100 German subs stalked and finally sunk over one hundred ships of the convoy. He survived to marry my mother and then was reassigned to the Pacific and made a couple of trips from Hawaii and the Philippines.
Dad never talked about this, all this information comes from a log book I found in his documents and allot of research.
DAD I love you and I respect your service.

I love the hills

I took a day off yesterday to reach out and touch the grandeur of the mountains.  I saddled up the Jeep and drove up through Placerville, past Pollick Pines, and up into the Crystal Basin.  Snow was still patched between the pines and the sky threatened snow in its cold grayness.  Up past all the camp grounds and ever higher I reached a well named lake called Ice House Reservoir.  Along the edge the snow was getting deeper and at times the road, if you want to call it that, was completely covered. The road continued on to the headwaters of the lake, to a small stream named Silver Creek. The water was colder than the wind but it promised good fishing this summer.  Further up the road I came to a little glade, nothing more than a wide spot in the snow covered path and pulled over.  The quiet hush of occasional wind gusts through the trees was all that could be heard. In the moment all was good.

Its my birthday, and I wonder......

Birthdays are often times of reflection and introspection.  It is an anniversary of the number of trips I have made around the sun and the number of springs after cold winters which I have basked in the warming rays, and the heats of summer where life seems a little more hectic.  So around and around we go and like the roulette wheel we never know where it stops we really don't care to know.

One of the advantages of one more revolution is the alternative.

God grant me the senility To forget the people I never liked, The good fortune to run into the ones I do, And the eyesight to tell the difference.  And remember all that would read this ranting: "Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away from them and you have their shoes."

Getting close

Every great work, every big accomplishment, has been brought into manifestation through holding to the vision, and often just before the big achievement, comes apparent failure and discouragement. 

Encouragement is a team sport. Its very nature is to be shared among people. If you want to be encouraged by others, start by encouraging other people. Encourage others to pursue their dreams, to recover from setbacks, and to keep on caring in the face of disappointment. Link arms with worthy partners, gaze into the future pool of possibilities, and keep going! You can glance in the rear view mirror, but DON'T STARE!

It is a jungle out there

I need a better lawn mower.  The weeds behind my house were getting tall.  Rain and intermittent sunny days have a tendency to grow large green things in places you really don't want them to be.  In places they were over four feet tall.  I researched the best way to knock them down and found this very interesting one but it looked a little hard to move around the big rocks in the area.  Well I tried to get my weed whacker to work but it had been so long between uses the gas lines broke off spilling gas all over.  I went over to JR's and got my lawn mower but it wouldn't keep running in the tall weeds.  So of to "ONE MORE TRIP" also known as Home Depot, and purchased a electric powered week eater.  Two and a half ours later and being covered with green slime from the weeds it is done.  Not something I want to to again for a while but such is the price one pays for being a homeowner.

Much ado about nothing

Jury duty was a bust.  I got picked for a jury in a felony case as Juror number 4.  It took two days to pick the 12 and 2 substitutes.  On the day we were to start hearing the case we arrived  and were ready to sit in the court room and the court officer said it would be another hour because of some motions.  Well at 10:10 we filed into our seats ready to perform our citizen's duty and I notice the defendant is not in the court, that does not bode well for continuation of justice.
The judge with a small smile on his face stated, "This is one of the shortest trials in history".  You see the defendant pleaded guilty to all counts and the case was over.
Oh well, that is the justice system for you.

Jury Duty in Sacramento

Here I am all broken hearted, came to Sacramento County Courthouse and I can think of a great number of things I could be doing on this pretty spring day.  They called the maximum number of jury applicants and the line went out the door down the hall and I didn't think it would ever stop.  I am back from the manditory two hour lunch and waiting again for my name to be called.  I am fully aware of my civic duty but looking around it seems no one really wants to be here.  More later.

The truck needed to be fixed.

The old Dodge truck wasn't shifting into high gear, and my Brother-in-law, who is the primary driver, was using to to drive to Folsom.  He stated "it was using a lot of gas".  Not exactly efficient to drive 30 miles in second gear.  Well, I picked it up and drove to a shop and $567 later it still doesn't shift very well when it is cold but once it warms up it is OK, (a lot like me I would suppose).  It is not much of a truck.  It doesn't lock the passenger door unless you do it manually, the radio speakers have a buzz in them, the windshield has a big crack, it has 105,000 miles on it, and it has a few dents.  I guess you could name it LUCKY.  It still runs and gets Brian to and fro.  A new transmission would be $2500 and I just don't think it is worth it.  It is another expense I really can't afford, but considering the alternative of buying a new rig, it will do.

Honest effort is good for the soul but hard on the body!

The fishing club is hosting a day on the lake next weekend. I thought it would be a good time to clean out the boat. It has been closed up since fall. Washing the windshield, scrubbing the hull, pressure washing the interior, and cleaning out the old bait filled my Saturday. But now I am feeling a couple of muscles I haven't used before. But all in all A good day.

the view is often determined by the light!

It is hard to find a black cat in a dark room. Especially when there is no cat.

No one should dictate personal behavior by dread of what can't yet be seen. Often we worry about what is not even foreseeable. I will not be overcome by the the cat that is not there.

Been a while

He took his vorpal sword in hand:
Long time the manxome foe he sought—
So rested he by the Tumtum tree,
And stood awhile in thought.

Like the hunter of the jaberwoky, I wait for the great challenge that lays before me. The challenge is in the quest for meaningfulness in a holding pattern. Each day brings me closer to the path to an intrinsic dedication.
I will hang in there with expectations of challenge.

Let it snow, let it snow

I had the great privilege to drive my son and grandson up to the snow this morning. Up past Sly Park and up the Emigrant Trail until we dared not go further. You see the snow was getting deeper and deeper. My little Jeep Liberty dragging the undercarriage in the 10 inch deep snow on the road. The best part was stopping and watching JR and little Joe in the snow. Up the little snow bank and back down. What a great day. On the way home we stopped in Placerville and had Chinese food. The best part was giving little JOE some ice cream and latter some pudding.
It made being cold and wet enjoyable.

Dinner with CM and KM

Went to Outback for dinner with my son and daughter in love Sunday night. It was more than just a time to eat. The very enjoyable evening was spent talking about hopes and dreams, about past joys, and trivial. With laughs and chuckles we whiled away a couple of hours with a couple of very intelligent, well spoken, talented, and personable up-and-coming iconoclasts. Thank you for sharing your lives with Bon and I; you make life special.

EDD maze!

Its like winning the lottery! I have been attempting to contact the Employment Development Department by phone. Yesterday I called 273 times and was able to get into the phone tree 11 times, resulting in "there are more calls than they can handle, GoodBy" every time. I have them on speed dial. They open their office at 8:am, so I started calling at 7:55am. 24 attempts and finally I got through, it was a chance of a lifetime, to actually talk to a real person! I explain my circumstances; I lost a form. She asks me about fourty questions over a period of 32 minutes, and tells me she will submit the request. OK it is now a waiting game again. I wonder how many other applicants just give up. I would be willing to volunteer to answer calls for EDD if it would help others like myself. What a pain.

Quest for Wood

I am a fledgling cabinet worker. I have built a couple of shelf units, and two toy boxes. Each attempt gets a little better with increased knowledge and technique. My daughter has given me a picture of a new toy shelf for my granddaughter. Along with the picture were some dimensions. With a little drawing and estimation off I went to get materials. So I begin this next project. It is good sometimes just to be distracted from the all the rest of the turmoil in my life and focus on just working with wood. Wish me luck.

Interview with Otto

It felt good to get up scrape a couple of days beard off my face, put on a tie and a coat and go to a real interview. Otto at TEK invited me over for a face to face and look at some opportunities. He was both personable and encouraging. I am very hopeful.

Dad's bike

I moved my father's 71 Honda CB500 to the garage over the weekend. My son Larry, little Joe, and I dismantled it in hopes of cleaning it up and restoring it. My Dad found this old bike in a ditch quite a long time ago. The owner had run off the road into the water filled ditch and was completely submerged and had abandoned it. Dad pulled it out cleaned it up as well as he could and got it running again. After registration he rode it for a number of years before his death. Now it is my turn to clean it up. It probably will take a year or two. A large number of small steps will facilitate a long journey. It is one of the few things I have of my father and as I scrape, sand, paint, replace, rebuild, and hopefully ride it again I will remember my Father over and over again.

Come on SUN......

It is another gray day. I would love to go for a drive and find the sun but it is nowhere to be found. One of my fears is that the gray of the day becomes the gray of my life. Not that I am prone to melancholy, but with existing economy and the lack of fruitful response to inquiries, it can get you down.
I am keeping my mind engaged with new technology learnings: GoogleApps, cloud computing, CCNA studies, and Business Process analysis.
Come on SUN..........

Posessions

Spent 7 hours today cleaning the garage. Every box, hammer, nail, screw, piece of camping gear, and piece of wood was moved at least three times.  It seems to me the longer you live the more possessions one accumulates.  As I lugged box after box to a new place in the garage I realized some of this stuff I have not used or even looked at for over a year.  Why do we keep so many things? 
But then again as each box was moved I took the opportunity to see what treasures I was so adamant in keeping.  Found some pictures thought lost, books read but worth a second chance, wall hangings speaking from former homes; all more than their worth at a yard sale but less than a treasure. 
But I will move them again and again and again.  Not because of the worth defined by the rest of the world but what each mean to me.

Words and Expressions

It is amazing how a few words or a very explicit expression can melt a heart.
This evening I had the distinct pleasure of entertaining two of the most wonder inspiring individuals.  When I arrived home from town, at the window pressing against the blinds was a little angel straining for my attention; my little granddaughter. With a smile that she holds only for her Pop Pop she greeted me at the door with an unreserved expression of love and affection.  That little expression of surprise, joy, love, excitement, and expectation was priceless.  She ran to my arms and give me a hug of which I will never tire.  She hasn't a humongous vocabulary yet but when she was going home with mother, I said "I love you" and my little angel returns that verbal statement with a non verbal expression of pointing both fingers right back at me.  It was  a coy little smile and raising of one shoulder that says "right back at you" that pales my words. 
Later this evening who came to that same door but a my little blond bombshell grandson. A little more reserved with is displays of affection but when he utters words from that little sweet mouth, it melts me.  We were playing with cars and a ramp and I put a car that he did not like on the ramp he said, "No No Pop Pop" it was almost to much to bare.  Again when it was time to go little Joe responded to my "I love you" with a "I loug you, Pop Pop".
Words and expressions that will be with me all my life.  Life that is made by two little, perfect, sweet, adorable cherubs.

Lunch with Ron

Thank you for lunch today Ron.  It was both pleasant and thought provoking.  For me it was more remembering the feeling of being with other geeks and being myself.  You are a remarkable friend.  Your willingness to go back to the conflict in the Middle East for another deployment is both heart warming and humbling. I hope and pray that only the best is yours in the new year.

Another Day

Thursday and another overcast day in Rancho Murieta.  Things to look forward to today:  Lunch with a friend, College football championship game, start to clean out the garage, and apply for at least five new opportunities.  It is probably very good to set a goal for each day.  I used to do that sort of intellectual exercise and I prided myself on accomplishments no matter how small. A new day, a new start.

Employment is one of the most importa...

Employment is one of the most important challenges in my life.  I have deep within me a inner desire to be relevant, purpose driven, and active.  The very act of opening my computer every morning looking at all the job sites is discouraging.  I have applied to hundreds of jobs with little results.  I know full well that something will come up, but it does not keep really help much when you want to immediate responses.  Often head hunters call and my hope is brightened but but they don't call back, they don't give you updates, and finally nothing becomes the norm.